Tuesday, May 24, 2011

they should put this on the warning label

there was a reason i signed up for the nyc marathon prior to completing IMSG.  it was because i had heard in discussions and whispers along the training path that ironman post partum is real and it sucks.  i had also heard that it would help to have something future dated, something to look forward to after you cross your ironman finish.  signing up for NYC was my first attempt at trying to prevent the inevitable, and signing up for cozumel was the final grasp for air.  neither worked.  it seems i've been hit.  with ironman post partum. 

at first it didn't seem so bad i had a week off, finished a 10k pretty strong the following weekend and wrapped it up with a PK monday night spin class.  but then it seemed i fell into a was that enough?  that was it?  i wanted the moments back, i wanted to cross the finish line again, yes, i even wanted the wall back.  i was supposed to feel different than i felt. wasn't i?  more accomplished?  i was supposed to feel like this big weight had been lifted.  i was supposed to feel different than i did.  i was waiting. 

however, while waiting i came to realize that perhaps i am a little to hard on myself. (go ahead laugh, yes its possible i'm just now coming to this conclusion)  perhaps i should stop and remember how hard i worked to get there, what i gave up, and where i was a year ago, 6 months ago, and even 3 weeks ago.  so although i don't look any different (except for the 163 tan lines down my arms)  or feel any different (except my clothes seemed to stop shrinking)  i need to come the conclusion that maybe I AM different.  in the many miles i dropped off some jealousy, a lot of anger, and even some guilt along the way.   so i'll continue this next journey much like i did the last with faith, strength and love, hope for the best and keep on keepin on. 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Race Report - Ironman St. George 2011

i imagine this is what a wedding feels like.  you plan. you spend. you spend some more.  you try your best to get to that "race weight", the day finally arrives. then you blink and its over.  okay so maybe a very long blink.

before i get into this race report.  i want to thank those who helped me get there.  i remember my friend marci telling me you must have the support, make sure you have the support before you go into it.  i had the support and then some.  shit i had enough support for the entire state of utah.   first my family. although they couldnt' be there in person;  my oldest sister was at home celebrating her very first (and long awaited) mother's day.  my middle sister is in her last trimester and busy celebrating her first mothers day with her three stepchildren.  my dad.  well he is my dad. and just like him to not be there but i knew he was tracking me every step of the way.  and finally my mom.  my mother who up until a few months ago didn't even know what an ironman was let alone know that it would require her to stand for 15+ hours in 95 degree heat, wake up at 4am, not eat all day (except for a banana) just so she wouldn't miss a glimpse of her youngest daughter conquering the goal she set one year ago.   my friends whose countless text messages, voice mails, and letters of support pushed me from quarter mile to quarter mile the entire 140.6.   to my angels in heaven who i know carried me through the water and up the hills when my body was starting to fail, i miss you all everyday.   to the volunteers who were in a word. AMAZING.  and finally to Team GT.  a group of athletes who inspire me to be a better person AND athlete each and everyday.  thank you. thank you. thank you.  now the race report......


Two days pre race - after an uneventful 6 hour ride to st george mom and i arrived at the dixie center to pick up packets, get body marked, and prepare for the weekend.   We met up with Team GT at the athlete dinner, ate, discussed race plans and fed off of each others nervous energy.  we listened to the speakers and the rules of the race on saturday.  i'm glad i was there. the announcer told us if the weather turns, take cover.  phew.  i would have had no idea!  no worries on that front because it was scheduled to be 95.  i started to have flashbacks of my first long road race, a record 92 degrees in philadelphia many years ago.

Day before race day
I was glad to have another day to compose myself and just get it together.  it might say detail oriented and organized on my resume but i can admit, i am neither.  i once left my keys in philadelphia after a visit home and had to rent a car for several days after until my mom fed exed them to me.  only to realize i'd left my glasses there too.  and let's not forget the time i drove a hour and half from manhattan beach, ca to henderson, nv for training camp, only to realize i'd forgotten my bike!!!  We met for an early morning swim at sand hollow and i felt terrific.  After the swim, Team GT's resident mom, Sue, had what can only be described as a feast fit for an gnome.   Mdot pancakes and all!  We drove to transitions, i got in a practice ride.  dropped off my stuff and took my VERY patience mom to grab some dinner before heading to the kids' fun run and then straight to bed.

 RACE DAY
i got a great night's sleep and was up before the alarm at 3:30.  i showered, got my cup of coffee and gathered my special needs bags for the day.  hopped on the shuttle in the pitch black, turned up my ipod and before i knew it we were at T1.  Moka braided the hair, which i've now decided is my lucky charm (FYI wheatie you will need to be at every tri with me from now on.  just thought i'd loop you in on that one)
we started the swim with a pre race lady ga ga dance so i was more relaxed than ever before i got into the water.  we made our way to the left side back and then there it was..BOOM.  i felt strong from the start. and the sea of green caps (men) made me feel a little hard core.  i followed next to as many people as i could and the kicks and punches weren't nearly as bad as i'd anticipated.  each buoy seemed to just disappear and in 1:25 i was out of the water and in the transition tent.  this is it, i  thought to myself the worst part is over, now just ride and run.   i was at the tail end of the first loop when i saw moka in what we lovingly call "hawaii"  i knew something was wrong since the bike is my worst and moka is a machine.  she said she wasn't feeling well and i told her we were going to get this done.  we helped each other through the next few miles and almost got called for drafting. really??  i had to laugh a little since i wouldn't know drafting if it slapped me in the face.  then what i'd been waiting for..... THE RUN!

i remember coming out of transition, it was 4:30 i started running and wondered how i was going to do this.  an entire marathon?  and then just like that my legs started moving and there i went. my goal went from finishing before midnight to finishing before 9:30.  funny how that happens.  the course is two loops so while running you encounter people who are on their way to the finish.  i found two new friends who were on their last lap in.  they invited me to run with them and i did walk a cone, run a cone.  the course was hilly and even the pros were walking the hills at that point.  i asked them if they would mind running another loop with me as my pace car but they declined, wished me luck, and sent me on my way.  the second 13 felt like a 5k.  and after seeing my name in lights at the hill turnaround for the second thime. "#163 - C Michels - way to go ironwoman" (thanks wes and lizz)  i was off like it was the first mile of a training run.   on the way down i saw marlene and yelled "we got this".  this was the point where i wished time would just stop.  i picked up my pace and heard several comments from behind "of at that pace you will be there in no time"  i responded with "i'm excited!"  it was around the corner and down the chute.  i sprinted the last several yards and heard those words i'd only dreamed about....

"Curry Michels from Hermosa Beach, California.  YOU ARE AN IRONMAN"

wes ran over and hugged me and as tears streamed down my face i thanked him for getting me there, for changing my life and for just being so freakin GT awesome.

for those worried that the blog is over (i'm hoping there is at least one of you out there)  never fear... first thing i did when i came home was register for Ironman Cozumel.  because hearing mike reilly yell your name and ironman to follow...... will never get old.

Friday, May 6, 2011

trust your struggle - less than 12 hours to go

amazing.  simply put does not begin to explain the amount of support i have received from friends and family near and far, from people i haven't spoken to in years, from family members with whom i've just recently reunited, from an old middle school principal, and from the high fives from friends children.

all day my smile grew wider and my confidence a bit higher as i read through the comments, emails, letters (thank you mkc), as i was listening to voice mails and viewing texts.  i thought to myself, wow this is better than a facebook birthday!  thank you. thank you. thank you.  

it is you who will get me up that hill, through that water, and across that finish line. you.  my support system.  you. who would not let me doubt my ability, who will not let me falter, who will push me further than i've  ever pushed myself.  

and here we are at the final day.  no more countdown.  this. is. it.  

so i say goodbye to countless hours of training, waking up at 4:30 am, two a days (just for now anyway) and goodbye to the old me,  say goodbye to what was and look ahead at what is.  i never knew it would be this life changing and i haven't even started yet.  or maybe perhaps i have?

with all the love in the world.  thank you my support team.  you really are my inspiration.  


Monday, May 2, 2011

an open letter to st. george

dear st george-

it seems like just yesterday i was introducing myself to you.  i was wondering about your history, your elevation, your landscape.  i wondered what your rainfall was, your water temperature.  and i wondered if i would like you when we met. or if you would be just a blip in the radar of my "maybe somedays". 

back then, i had a lot on my plate george. may i call you that?  

my plan for life turned around on me and where i was was not actually where i thought i would be.  then as it turns out, a good friend of mine had met your brother the cheese lover in wisconsin the year prior.  she thought you and i should meet.  she said it might help.  i had no idea what she meant but it seemed at that point, i needed all the help i could get. 



truth be told, its not easy to get a hold of you guys, but you, george, you made it easy on us.  i think you are still accepting friends into your circle???  just days before i'll see you again. 


when we first met at training camp i wasn't sure what to expect.  would you be nice? kind? would you prove me to be an embarrassment to myself?  would you just serve me a platter of humble pie, laugh and say maybe next time curry? 

you did not. and i was so surprised. 

through you i met my tri family, my support system, and what has proven to be my life line.  i laughed harder than i had in years and took on your hills, your "walls", and your elevation.  i didn't doubt my abilities as much anymore after we met and as it turned out you and i became instant friends.  i hate that wall and i hate that stretch right after your little pie shop (some of us call it hawaii but you know better).  and oddly enough i don't think i've ever used your name in vain.  it was more forced positive talk than it was hatred.  it was almost as if God was saying "you haven't learned how to do it in the past so i'm showing you how now.... the hard way".  since our meeting, i've slipped up, i've juggled to many things at once, and i've made some mistakes.  but i've managed to still find comfort in knowing i can always rely on what you taught me. 

you are a good friend, george.  thank you for teaching me how to just "sit back and enjoy the ride"  i can't wait to see you on saturday.

your friend for life,

curry