its okay......

i've learned its okay to wear your medal
its okay to wear your shirt
its okay to keep on that bracelet until it literally falls off your wrist
its okay to eat cookies and drink every margarita known to man when you finish
its okay to cry on the bike and the run and the swim
its okay to test yourself
its okay to let yourself down just to pick yourself back up
you will find something that you once deemed impossible
you will get that strength you never thought you had
you will do things that others can't imagine
you will push yourself to the limit
the mantra is in your mind
the mantra is your struggle
the mantra is one foot in front of the other
the race report is written in your head long before you cross that finish line
a test of yourself
a test of the elements
the course may be long
you will want to quit
you will want to give up
but you WILL dig deeper
you will PUSH harder
you will Be an IRONMAN!

and you will swear you will NEVER sign up for another one
but of course you will
because crossing that finish line never, never gets old.

arrival de cozumel

day before race - the nerves have set in, i've quieted down (yes this is possible), and i've retreated to the poolside for some alone time.

the trip here was uneventful which is exactly what i planned for.  i met the crew at denver airport and we flew into cozumel together.  if you have never stood along baggage claim with a bunch of triathletes waiting for their bikes i don't reccomend it, its not a pretty site, especially when your groups bikes are literally the last 7 out of the airplane.

the resort is incredible.  hot tub, literally in the room, hammock on said balcony, and an endless pool with food and drink service throughout 24 hours.  what ironman?!?

we swam and did a practice ride yesterday, and a practice swim today at 7.  i felt great on the bike and the jelly fish seemed to have stung everyone but me.  i'm not thinking to clearly at the moment so this update is short.  my apologies.  thank you all once again for your guidence, support, and letting me belivie in what i always think is the impossible.  tomorrow i'll swim, ride and run for all of you as i continue to "trust my struggle"

and here we go again.....

just a quick blog update as i  get ready to head to Cozumel, Mexico for my second ironman competition.   this adventure is very different from the last for several reasons,  i'm doing it for a different reason this time around, myself.   i'm coming off a 2 week sickness and just returned from begging my doctor for stronger drugs, i won.  the bike is pulled apart in pieces, in a bike box the size of me and ready to have me drag it across the terminal at LAX at 6 am tomorrow.  free entertainment for anyone else flying out tomorrow

and oh yes, and this one is in Mexico. 

i also never thought on a day that in my 20's i spent celebrating at the local bars for "the biggest drinking night of the year"  would years later be the night i was getting myself ready  for my second ironman race in less than a year.   (race term used lightly of course)  

so here we go again....... next race update from mexico,  i hope they have cranberry sauce.  

dream

i think i smiled the entire way.

i arrived in new york on the red eye and went straight to the hotel.  i grabbed a WSJ, a cup of coffee and cleared my head in the 40 degree weather that awaited me outside, i took a stroll through battery park and contemplated on visiting ground zero, still not ready.  i walked along the water front instead, stopped at the dedicated gardens sat and cried for bit.  i wasn't sure at that point if i was crying for 9/11 or crying because i'd made it here.  i cried a lot that day but none of those tears were sad.  they were just emotions.  emotions of the empowerment of a single city.  emotions of what i really think of as home.  i wandered back to the hotel and met my family who made the drive and train ride up the east side.

i thought of writing a full race report.  trying to describe what it feels like to start off on the verazzano in the toll lane with 47,000 others. what it felt like to hear languages from all over the world while running, seeing a blind woman being led by her husband at mile 22, holding hands. what it feels like to run up the bridge and into the bronx and slapping high fives with every single person under 4 feet.  the smiles on their faces were as big as mine.  gratitude is a large part of what i feel today. i loved every second of every minute of every mile.  new york you might really be my home in another life.

i anticipated this race to be epic. and it was.  i sometimes felt alone in a sea of 47,000? this is epic.  this race was epic. those supporters were epic.  and i'll be carrying on with this smile for a long long while.

you stopped for us and i can only hope we delivered.

5 boroughs and me

i don't think i've been this excited for something since i awoke to find my sea princess bike with lurkey from rainbow brite on the handlebars Christmas morning back in the 80's.   

a thought crossed my mind a long while back that i wanted to run 26.2 miles.  a marathon.  but like most things i set out to accomplish i have to be different. i choose the challenge over the constant.  cruelty over convenience.  i like it that way, it keeps life interesting and keeps me from getting caught up in the ease of it.
so i decided on the mecca of all marathons (yes better than boston, in my humble opinion)  it was a marathon that was close to home, it was a marathon that was in that city.  yes THAT CITY.

new york! new york! - staten island. brooklyn. bronx. queens. manhattan.  

i knew that this was not easy task to take on.  there was the physical part of running 26.2 miles alone. but this was more than a marathon, this was an event. an event that i  had to do. it was my home.  i've always felt this strange bond with new york even though i'm pretty sure i wouldn't know what letter of the alphabet line runs from any part, of any corner, to any borough.  but i love it.   in addition,  i would need to qualify or make it through this lottery of sorts.  so i dreamed, i kept dreaming, and i kept on keeping on.  while i waited i ran Los Angeles and San Diego, i did an ironman, i ran what seems like a million 10k's always still hoping, still dreaming, that one day I too, could run through central park as a new york city marathon runner. 

this video pretty much sums it up (thanks suzie for sharing)  and thank you New York for allowing me to become a part of you on sunday, even if its only for 26.2.
NYC Marathon Alex Baldwin prorez from Marc Beroza on Vimeo.