opening my eyes and seeing luck

i walked instead last night and the mosquito's walked with me.  i'm still in my little abyss otherwise known as just outside of minneapolis, minnesota and yesterday i took the day off.  

living in california you tend to get a bit jaded.  i mean i suppose i knew that the unemployment rates were high and that i was blessed (to say the least) to be able to participate in races around the country while getting myself back together in one piece.   it was a bit ironic to me that i had a new sense of strength and commitment while i was "taking the night off".

so far while out here my training has consisted of running and biking by the lake while swimming in the calm waters of central minnesota.  but i wouldn't be truthful if i didn't say that last nights walk and today's stroll around the state fair didn't hit a new chord for me.  that life isn't always so nice for everyone.  that i'm lucky to be alive, happy, and healthy.  i'm lucky that i don't have to wake up everyday wondering if the orange eviction sticker is going to be placed on my front door or if my job as a sheet rock layer is going to disappear because there's no new construction.  i'm lucky to know that although i've had my heart broken its never been because my husband of ten years left me with two kids, a house payment, a truck payment and an unwanted new start.  i'm lucky that the weather isn't going to predict if i can put food on the table for my family or that i have to tell my kids no because "i just can't afford it"

there are many reasons why i decided to do this years IMSG but my retreat to middle america has allowed me to add one more. 


because i'm lucky enough. 

change of scenery

i'm on my own personal retreat for a while.  i came up to one of my favorite places to reflect, relax, and do a little head clearing. 

before i left i sent my bike on her very first tri trip to washington dc.  i'll be part taking in the nations tri on september 12th.  its going to be my first olympic distance and i'm feeling  a little under prepared, although i think i say that every single race.  its like my own little handicap in case i bomb the thing. 

before i boxed her up and shipped her off i took her out on the first pv hill ride and can't believe it took me that long to get up there.  the natural high of cruising down those hills is better than any of my best vodka tonic nights, without the hangover!  i can't wait to get back and do it all again.  until then i'm relishing in my the beauty of big lake, minnesota.  

this morning i ran with the ducks, took in the wildflowers, waved to people as i passed by, and remembered why i came up here in the first place.

a new ride

SHE'S HERE!  i drove her home with the windows down, singing  along to "hey soul sister" the whole ride home along the coast.  i was happy.  after months of searching and weeks of waiting, my bike was finally here.

 and for the first time in a very long time i had a reason to feel excited about something.

like a little kid at christmas i couldn't wait to get my new "toy" home and out on the bike path.  i'm not well versed in the clipless pedals just yet and like a lot of things these days i'm teaching myself.  with learning sometimes we fall, sometimes pretty hard, and sometimes in front of an audience.  so yes, without even pedaling a step, i toppled over while still parked in the garage.  timed just perfectly as the neighbors were pulling out of their drive.

i laughed it off and rode away, elbow throbbing and a newly bruised knee, headed straight for the light at the end of my tunnel.

learning lessons

i swam in the ocean today.  1 mile.  i avoided shark week in anticipation. i have a long way to go, a long way.  but i finished. maybe next week i'll get around the pier and lose my fear of getting hooked with a fishing line.(seriously)  i learned a few things while spending quality time with the fish this morning that i thought i'd share just in case you ever find yourself wanting to jump in the freezing cold ocean at 8 am on a sunday morning.

lesson 1 -  body glide.  my neck looks like someone took a red marker and drew a line across the back.  note to self when swimming in salt water with a wetsuit while turning your head repeatedly, apply body glide. 

lesson 2 - remember to stay calm when getting kicked in the face. or at the very least kick back.

lesson 3 - water will get in your wetsuit and st. george is going to be cold.  figure out a way to get over it.

lesson 4 - even though the pier looks close, it is not.  even though you think you can just ride in a wave to finish,  you can not.  and even though it may seem you are swimming in a straight line, chances are, you are not.

swim. check.  now onto the run. but not without a little added inspiration. its amazing how hindsight makes things so much clearer.

i kicked out seven miles faster than i ever have before and added in some hills just for fun, yes for fun. 

harder. better. faster.stronger.  (thank you kayne)

the devil lives on 19th street

the other night i couldn't sleep, this isn't new as of late, but it is the first time i was up the entire night.   so i spent the extra 8 hours reading race reports for IMSG.  after about the fifth one i realized i'm going to need to stop running flats, period.  no more casual runs along the strand or the treadmill incline remaining frozen at 0.00.  its now or never. 

first stop, spin class. coincidentally the only class offered that day was an advanced spin.  i hopped on the bike and prepared myself for a rough ride, one hour later i was feeling pretty confident, wasn't so bad after all.  the following night was a different story, what a difference an instructor makes.   that's the first time i've ever dropped the f bomb, smiling, while sprinting up an imaginary hill.

and today was hill day.  lucky (or unlucky) for me, 19th street defines it.  and that is where the devil lives. he sits right at the top of the hill and smiles down at me for each and every rep. 

got me wondering if  he'll be in st. george? 

just in case, i'll practice my laugh, since i'll be getting the last one.

the day the music died

dear nano-

i wasn't prepared.  i wasn't prepared for the unannounced departure.  i knew you were sick when i saw those lines across your face but i thought it was because i hadn't fed you in a while.  i downloaded a little neil diamond and  eminem's new album and waited for you to recover, you did not.

i am not ready for us to go our separate ways.  PV does not know a run without you, the treadmill will be unbearable.  perhaps this is your way of forcing me back into the running group i left so many months ago?  i told you i'm not ready for that again yet.  everytime i look at you, you just stare back with this white blank look on your face and beep. 

beep.

at this point in my life i don't think i can justify adopting another family member into the mix, i've already fostered so many, just to have them leave me like you.  each generation; the original mini, the 2nd and 3rd generation, and now you, the nano.

 i took today off to make the decision.  should you stay or should you go?

RIP little silver nano. 

two is better than one

seems like lately all i want to do is spend time at the gym. i'm not sure when exactly these "two a days" started, maybe it was the first time i went at 11 am on a weekday and the only people there were either retired, unemployed, or SBW's (South Bay Wives)  and so i returned later hoping to be more in my element. 

either way, it started.  my workouts have changed too, i even powered off my ipod at one point today and it wasn't because the battery died.  i've found myself tuning out of "sportscenter" and into the form, technique, and speed of the swimmers in the pool below.  i need to stop competing with people on the treadmills though, i was trying so hard to see what speed the guy to me was going yesterday that i almost fell clear off the damn thing.  go ahead, laugh.  to be honest i'm shocked it hasn't happened already. 

swimming during the day is a different too.  the pool is full of little old ladies complaining about the kids swim lessons that take up an entire lane all summer long and how the pool toys keep floating over into the lap lanes while they try to do their swim aerobics, yes, swim aerobics.  i often want to point out to them  that the vast majority of people at the pool wish to actually SWIM in the lanes and not do pool aerobics  and that a pot shouldn't call a kettle black and so on and so forth.  but i refrain.  i think they just like to complain.  can't much blame them, i've been there myself.

going to the gym is my outlet these days, its helping me mend some things that were broken.  i'm thinking if i keep up the two a days it will be fixed twice as fast. 

i'll end with a quote from good ol' MJ:

(some of you will appreciate more than others)

"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."

amen.