if only

if only i wouldn't have stopped for water or for that cramp that got me on mile 3.  if only i would have sprinted a little harder at the finish.  if only my garmin was as accurate as i needed it to be.  if only those damn "ed hardy/bedazzle"  shoes would have increased my cadence by the mere 13 seconds that i missed my PR on today.

a year ago this would have brought me down, it would have made me question my ability once again.  today (even with a pathetic philadelphia eagles loss post race)  it made me happy.  happy that i came that close to my PR in the first place.  A year ago I didn't even know what the hell my PR for a 10K was,  i didn't ever push myself that hard to care.  this time around i started and it certainly changes ones stride.   so i didn't make it this time.  last time i was in a place i thought was perfect.  the last time i made 49:13 (yes i realize this is some people's practice runs)  i was in what i call the "old curry" phase.  then life  happened and the caring went down a bit, i signed up for an ironman, i completed and ironman and the "old curry" started to care again.  i started to care about myself.  me.  i took in selfish and embraced it.

yes, its true i'm always in a "friendly" competitions with the guys during these runs, its just to much fun when i pass them not to be.  but for once, today i took it to a new level.

a new level that had me puking at the finish line, exactly 13 seconds shy of my "new curry"  PR.

pumpkinman half?  you're up next.