what was missing

i found it. 

 for years i've struggled with a missing link, what my purpose was in life, how to rechannell my energy to something that i felt would fill the void that i'd only heard so many talk about.

 "the weight was lifted"

 i'd waited for that. i did. i started endurance racing hoping that was the answer but found out later it was just a step.  a step in a direction that i had no idea where or what was going to come of it but it felt right. and nothing about it led me to belivie, this is where it would take me. 

one of my favorite quotes (outside of everything robert frost) is by Deepak Chopra; it says

"Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.”

now i will admit when i first read this quote it was at a time in my life that i didn't want to hear it . it was along the lines of "everything happens for a reason" the number one quote that made me want to punch someone in the face at the very sound of.  but now, as time does, it healed. it healed the wounds and brought greater meaning to the verse.
i have had so many things taken from me that i trickled down the path of "woe is me" where that got me was straight back to the dead end of nothing. it wasn't until i started living that i realized everything does happen for a reason. there are people (or four legged friends) that cross our paths to shape us into who we should be, who we are capable of being, and lifting that rock. maybe not all at once, but in small increments that makes the whole puzzle come together.

my new love is my puppy, Montgomery, he is in a word, perfect. he is perfect because even if i got him a week earlier i'm not sure it would have worked. he came into my life at exactly the right moment. the moment when God thought i was faltering, i was giving up hope once again. so that "weight" might not be fully lifted but the love i have for "monty" and the love he has for me is indescribable. its what i need, right now at this moment.

he is my new running buddy, my new hiking buddy, and my new reason to get the hell out of bed each day.  oh yea... and he's a pit, described as head strong.   you can't say the apple falls very far from the tree.