back in the game.... i think

To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

 -ee cummings

i have a bad (or somewhat) interesting habit of jumping in full throttle.  my friend noticed this at my first attempt at mountain biking in which he described the "curry no fear" technique as i flew over rocks, weaving in and out of trees and finally stopping with an exclamation of "i freaking love mountain biking!"

over the course of the past few years i've seemingly stepped up my game. not really on purpose. and its not just with sports, its everything i do.  passion? stupidity? curiosity?  most likely a mix of all three.  i'm so indecisive about so much, choosing an item from a dinner menu.... red or white.... renting or owning.... leasing or buying.... and i'm convinced i wear so much black, grey and white just so i don't have to mix and match colors everyday.

on the flip side when i find something that works, it works. end of story.

my trifecta of the swim, bike, run was also a leap of faith. the ironman(s), my reward.  this season started with a head first dive as well.  i was on track for a great season and i had a great couple of races.  then i lost my edge, fell off the wagon and headed back down the road i'd seen time and time again.  except this time it wasn't so dark, more just a little break from it all. but as with everything the extremist in me appeared and i let my bike and swim go.  these past weekends i've been hitting all three in preparation for my two oly's coming up, including the ocean swim part.  and it feels great.

i'm not sure what i'll jump into next and i'm a little scared to be honest.  and yes, there are times when i wish i could be a little less passionate/stupid/curious.  and sometimes i fear the passion has died.  but then i remember why i started in the first place and i go for it again.

head first, of course.