time. it heals.

“you have to walk, and create the way by your walking; you will not find a ready-made path. It is not so cheap, to reach to the ultimate realization of truth. You will have to create the path by walking yourself; the path is not ready-made, lying there and waiting for you. It is just like the sky: the birds fly, but they don't leave any footprints. You cannot follow them; there are no footprints left behind.” 

― Osho

there are many times when i heard this saying, time will heal, as i held tight in denial.   the way i operate is needing to know the actual, details, something to hold onto to.  not faith.  yet, with this same time, i have been so graciously granted by faith. i am able to accomplish things that never would have been accomplished without such venture.  so as i embark on my two year anniversary to that life changing decision to part take in an otherwise unknown destination i thank those who crossed my path of uncertainly, for it is them who got me to complete this blog today.

yes, there have been the bouts of "i can not", "i am falling behind", there was loss, complied  with the occasional "what the (enter explicit here) am i doing"  and the time, although  i thought running short,  was in reality, a new beginning.

this is not a race report.  this is not a failed PR.   this is the athlete that came about one weekend in February after searching active.com when i should have been working for a camp that would help me complete an utter and complete impulsive buy for an ironman competition in May 2011.  GPP Fit, GPP endurance, Salt Lake City, Utah and Lizz Bennett and Wes Johnson were all terms (and athletes) foreign to me.

as was a co worker with a sticker on her computer screen reading "140.6"  that led me to  buy a bike, a wetsuit, some googles and make a reservation for a camp that was sure to kick my ass this way to Sunday.  and leave no doubt, it did.

to date, even after two ironman competitions, 4 marathons, and a bucket load of 10k's i have never been so exhausted.  physically. and yet i' ve never felt so alive emotionally.  i rode, swam and ran harder and faster than i myself ever imagined was possible. and away i came with friendships and lifelines that i only hope someone reading this can experience.

its hard, no impossible, to believe that was two years ago.  who pays for these things?  who pays to do partner squats and burpees, swimming for hours only to ride a 50 mile loop and run a half marathon all in the same day?  who gets lost on a course only to have a random stranger pick you up, go for coffee and talk about how yes, you very well might be the same person?  i still don't know what drove me to enter that strange city or what made me go to dinner that night with a group of people i was more nervous to meet than a first blind date. but i did.

my competitors might not agree because out of that camp i gained myself back, i got faster, i got stronger.  i was the old curry and then some  after that weekend and well the rest is history.........

happy 2 year anniversary to my new start, to my utah family (north and south) and thank you for helping me to "create my path".