missing piece

“I think you are the one I have been waiting for,” said the missing piece. “Maybe I am your missing piece.”

“But I am not missing a piece,” said the Big O. “There is no place you would fit.”

“That is too bad,” said the missing piece. “I was hoping that perhaps I could roll with you…”

“You cannot roll with me,” said the Big O, “but perhaps you can roll by yourself.”

one of my favorite shel silversteins poems is the missing piece,  it seems we all have a place to 'fit' within ourselves.

we visited bryce canyon this weekend for a weekend of non stop adventure.  i had never been and i realized that i never fully took advantage of the landscape california had to offer.  it was hard for me to venture out when all i ever knew was changing for the sake of changing.  now with a 50 miler on my calendar i am thrilled to recognize that this missing piece is going to finish.

in bryce we started with a nice waterfall hike that had more laughs then it did physical conditioning.   and over the years i've realized just how important that piece of the training is.  i raced with spite for so long i forgot what relaxation  and simply enjoying the ride felt like.  

i have moved a lot in life and just tonight my mom said to me "can't you just find something permanent for once?'   i laughed, because i've come to discover that permanent and i don't mix.  we just don't. period.

we ran bryce,15 miles worth uphill, through the snow,  i met up with that anxiety along the way and discovered it doesn't have that much a hold of me as i thought.  my poor friend ashlan, seems to always be right with me when i'm having these 'freak outs' (for lack of a better term)  and every time she just says "you will be fine" and that is enough to get me over the damn mountain pass.

i've heard in the past, that if you face your fears they will go away or possibly dissipate.  they don't.   the reality of the situation is you change as a result of your fears.  so the fear itself does not go away

sometimes you might give up and sometimes, just sometimes you might find that missing piece...... in yourself.